“if you’re not enough without it..you’ll never be enough with it!”
how can just one simple line have such enigmatic and compelling implications?
i initially heard it in “cool runnings” a movie, based on a theatrically enhanced true story, about the pioneering jamaican bobsled team’s foray into the 1988 calgary olympics (more context about this in a moment)
what became compelling to me, however, wasn’t so much the statement, but rather the interpretive result of turning that statement into a question.
“if you’re not enough without it, will you EVER be enough with it?”
i’ve asked this of myself, countless times, relative to a myriad of circumstances.
to this day the question lingers. a personal inquiry that I have not yet conclusively answered.
maybe you’re wondering..
what is “it?” and..
what does “enough” mean?
i’ve also given those questions an abundance of thought, and still do. but first, here’s some context on the movie.
“cool runnings” john candy’s final film was released in 1993. he played the role of an ostracized united states bobsledding star (irv blitzer), who had since become the coach of the jamaican bobsled team.
his ostracization resulted from being caught cheating (placing weights in the front of his sled) to augment his competitive advantage.
interestingly, this was ostensibly the first, and only time he cheated, and, prior to that had already been considered one of the best bobsledders in the world, having won 2 gold medals at the 1968 winter olympics.
the iconic line (at least to me) giving rise to the iconic question (also, at least to me) occurred when derice, one of the jamaican athletes, alone with his coach, in a small, darkened, hotel room, began to ask.. “coach… there’s something I gotta know….”
john candy’s character (coach blitzer) immediately interrupted derice, clearly aware that he was about to be asked why he cheated.
he told derice that he had to win...
..at all costs..
..in any way..
to him, at the time, winning was all that mattered.
...”it” was at once, everything and the only thing that defined him.
...”it” was the one, solitary, exploit that gave him value and validated him as a person.
but then, coach blitzer gave derice something more..
Something of greater significance than a trite answer to derice’s inquiry.
possibly something of even greater worth than the gold medal derice and his teammates had trained for, with aspirations and visions of its attainment.
speaking with the clarity, often only gained from retrospective experience, coach blitzer shared his wisdom.
wisdom he had “purchased” at great personal and professional cost.
it was then he said, “derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. but if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it”
as I mentioned earlier, the question form of this statement is something that I have, many times over the years, asked myself.
i’ve recognized that the “it” could be, and has been, for me, anything. Maybe I have even allowed my personal “it” to be everything.
..It could be a level of income or professional attainment.
.. a first home that I own… then a bigger one.… then not only bigger, but in a “better” neighborhood.
..it could be a 6 month emergency financial fund… so that I didn’t have to worry..
but, just down the road of life, it could be having enough income and/or accumulated resources to provide for the education of my sons.
more recently, the “it” has become amassing the money needed for retirement. to live comfortably and without foreboding about my future.
once I have that “it”, I will neither need, nor want any others. I will have finally “arrived’ and be able to comfortably rest my head on my pillow at night, knowing “I am now enough.”
..knowing that my friends, acquaintances, and hell.. even those I don’t know, can readily see that I’ve got “it” all together.
but, for some reason, I began to realize the fallacy of my “its” and how i have been lying to myself about them...
..for far to long!!
i realized that it was like I was walking on a treadmill, where, although my feet were moving, i was going nowhere of significance.
sure, there was motion, but despite that, I remained in the same place.
my mental treadmill was only taking me to another “it!”
it was then i knew that the treadmill would never stop unless and until i made a conscious decision to get off of it.
so, today, I decided to make that choice.
to accept myself and my circumstances, as they are, completely independent of my “its”
to refuse to allow another “it” to define who I am or how I feel.
to choose to be “enough”, right here… right now.
looking back, it’s a decision i would have liked to have made years ago.
but better late than never, right?
now, acquiring more “it’s” will not make me feel better, more secure, or more confident in myself as a person.
the lack, or perceived lack of, “its” will not leave me feeling inadequate, incomplete, or wanting something else for validation.
i am enough, as I am, right here and right now, with or without what I may or may not have.
so are you!
rdf-10
here's the youtube link to the cool runnings scene.