What Would You Be Willing To Fail For?
The question is intriguing, and one that I believe many of us have not asked ourselves.
Yet, it is the ONE question, that could give us a deeper awareness of our true desires and the direction we should consider moving towards.
It’s a question that is contradictory to the advice of many self-help gurus, whose guidance I feel is WRONG, possibly leading us to the “safe” choice rather that the “best” or most personally fulfilling choice.
Let me explain.
Most of us, at some point or another, have reached a crossroad in our life where we are faced with trying to decide “what comes next?”
It’s not a fun place to be as we are often filled with self-doubt and uncertainty.
Often, the common mantra of the sages in the self-help realm.. the question that they ask us to ask ourselves is…
“What would you do if you knew that you could not fail?”
The premise of this question, I believe, is to cut to the chase, and eliminate the fearful thinking that can keep us from pursuing our dreams.
But… it’s the wrong question, and here’s why..
Growing up in an athletic family, on brutally competitive playgrounds, and still trying to consider myself an athlete (although a slower and older one), I will use sports as a metaphor.
Some of you may recall the following catch phrase from the Wild World of Sports, which aired on ABC from 1961 to 1998
“The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.”
If you are younger and have not seen the entrance video to the show, YouTube it! It’s way cool, although editorially dated.
One of the reasons this show was so fascinating, and long-lasting, is that it gave its viewers the opportunity to live vicariously through those athletes who, day in and day out, laid it all on the line, balls to the walls, and hair on fire!
Without a doubt, their exceptional skills drew us in as we marveled at their talent.
But, beyond that, there was something more exceptional. Something even more compelling.
Here’s what it was.
They were willing to embrace failure and the agony of defeat, knowing that without doing so, they would never have the possibility of experiencing the thrill of victory which was more important to them. And beyond that, they often did it again and again, some eventually finding that thrill, others perhaps not.
Here are just a few examples that come to mind as I write this.
I think about the Olympian, who competing every 4 years, dedicated to their training regimen, diet, and willing to make the necessary personal sacrifices to excel in their sport, gets to the venue, then watches their chances for victory fade away due to injury or illness.
Although I’m not a golfer (and perhaps one of the worst who has ever tried it), I think about Tiger Woods and how he overcame personal and physical struggles to win the 2019 Masters, his first major in 11 years, subsequently calling it his most rewarding moment.
I will forever be in awe of Lindsey Vonn, who despite 2 worsening knees, numerous other injuries, and no real chance of reaching the podium, continued to compete right up to the point where her body finally forced her to call it quits.
Then, there’s Alex Smith, who in 2018 suffered not only career ending, but life and limb threatening injuries, yet committed himself, with no guarantee of ever playing again, to the arduous rehab that allowed him to, once again, take the field in 2020.
Despite never again reaching his former level of play, his zeal for competition and diligence towards the process of recovery inspired millions, both within, and outside of the sporting world.
And as a final sports example, consider the late Kobe Bryant, whose other injuries notwithstanding, overcame a severe Achilles tendon rupture in 2013 making a return to the court in less than 8 months after an injury that most authorities felt would take 12+ months (if ever) to recover from.
He then resumed competing, up until his retirement, despite having no true chances of ever making the playoffs again.
Had he decided to call it quits before then (knowing that his team would probably fail and that he would never again reach his prior level of transcendence), would he have experienced the “thrill of victory” of his final game when he scored 60 points, leaving sports fans all over the world with a memory that will last forever.
Would his thrill of that victory been as profound without him having had to overcome and persevere despite his prior agonies of defeat?
So, for me, the question is NOT:
“What would I do if I knew that I could not fail?”
But rather:
“What would I be willing to fail for?”
It is my belief that this question is the one that will gauge the depth of my true commitment, my deepest desire, and the course of action that will bring out the best of who I am and what I have to offer, regardless of the ultimate outcome.
In other words, its not so much about the attainment as it is the fully committed pursuit, knowing that I left it all on the playing field, and have become a better person from having done so.
So, what’s your question?
rdf-10 (It starts and ends with me)